Cameron – eastern European weather to be restricted to ‘a bit nippy’ in UK

Pride's Purge

(satire – probably)

In a tough speech on immigration, the prime minister David Cameron has pledged to clamp down on eastern European weather conditions coming to the UK, saying under the previous Labour administration Britain had become a ‘soft touch’ for cold weather.

Mr Cameron firmly placed the blame for the unseasonal snow and bitter spring conditions now being experienced across Britain on Labour’s failure to control immigration of freezing weather especially from colder places like Poland and the Baltic states. 

The prime minister said that from now on, continental atmospheric conditions will have to prove they have a “reasonable prospect” of being typically British grey and drizzly but no colder than “a bit nippy” if they would like to settle in the UK for more than six months.

Labour warned against overblown rhetoric and said there were already rules in place to deal with…

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Author: gogwit

One foot in Sanity, the other in the adjoining parish, usually in the vicinity of the boundary between the two but sometimes straying into the main square of either and very occasionally taking occupation of the Town Hall...

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