Scientists Succeed in Growing Missing Teeth on Liberal Democrats

Pride's Purge

(satire – probably)

Liberal Democrats may in future be able to have their missing balls or backbones replaced with ones grown from cells taken from chickens or mice, experts have predicted.

Scientists say hybrids of mouse or chicken stem cells – both of which are remarkably similar in structure to those extracted from Liberal Democrat cabinet ministers – raises the possibility of growing missing teeth, backbones and balls on junior coalition MPs’ bodies.

Several pairs of fully functioning balls – created by combining stem cells taken from mice and Vince Cable well before he sold himself out for a seat in the cabinet – have been grown in a laboratory by researchers who hope the work could lead to Liberal Democrat MPs being able to grow back other things they lack – such as scruples or guts – and in the future it may even be possible to provide them…

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